Amy's Random Thoughts

I don't know if any of you is avid Sex and the City fans.
Or maybe I'm all old and everyone's onto new things like Girls.
But today I feel like Carrie Bradshaw.
I am sitting in my room, with my computer and contemplating life.
With Taylor Swift's new song, shake it off, as a background
and of course a glass of red wine.

Generally, I wonder the most about my life and the choices I make.
About three months ago, I had to make a huge decision.
And now that I am slowly settling into my decision,
and one of my best friends who also made a huge decision with me
is backing out and changing her mind,
it forces me to see my decision in a new light
did i make the right decision?
am i going to be happiest with this choice?
honestly, these questions are always in my head.
Obviously when you were considering choices, you see both the very best
and the very worst of each decision.

And now that I am living it, its not that bad honestly
but its also not the rosy colors I thought it would be
It is so hard to make new friends after school
but its not impossible
 The important thing that I am trying to once again master
is managing a balance because it is exhausting keeping all your friends
It is almost impossible
and i need to remember that the friends who stuck with me
they are just as important
though they can't go to brunch every weekend with me
they are the ones who went through heart breaks, hardships
and stuck by me through my biggest failure in life.
I am also the most stubborn person you will ever met
so even if this decision is horrible I will live like it isn't
and I will prove you wrong.
Cause that's who I am.

SO i guess I'm also disappointed in my friend
who clearly had a picture in her head and it isn't what she thought
She isn't going to stick it out or fight it out
she isn't even giving this chance a long enough time to see if its a good or bad choice.
It also terrifies me that she is going to another decision
what will happen when this decision is not what she pictured?
she has no more options
I am a worry bug
and those who know me know that I will do anything
for those I love 
and I can't cause I won't be close enough to do anything
What do you do when you know someone is making a horrible mistake.
This is the dilemma I am facing
What i am slowly realizing is that I can't change her mind
I can't help her make a better decision
She is her own person
and all i can do is...
be the first person to congratulate her if she succeeds
and be the first person for her to cry on if she fails
I am more of a proactive person so it is not my favorite solution
but i know she needs to do what she thinks is right.
So I leave you all with one thought:

Tell me your advice, thoughts or ideas
til next time

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