I'm going through my twenties and my oh my when adults say its the time of change, boy do they mean it. The past year - first year out of college, first job, first real life challenges - has matured me more than the last 22 years have. One of the hardest obstacles I had to face was friendships changing, evolving and how I can keep them alive. I went through the same thing when I first got to university with my high school friends - somehow that process wasn't bad at all. I still have a good hand-full of my high school friends on speed dial and I know their lives well enough. But getting my first job, going through our first hard break ups, going through big sh** happening in our lives really hit me like a brick. I started to realize that everyone I held so dear to my heart might not be good for me after all. This might be the last 'spring cleaning' or so to say for my friendships because as work gets more and more unreasonable friendship starts to fall on your to-do list.
Over the last two months or so, a huge change came upon me and one of my very dearest, bestest friend - someone I consider family, someone I would not hesitate to call my future-bridesmaid, someone I honestly thought would be sitting in a rocking chair in the house next door as we plan when our grandchildren will be coming to visit - change the game and broke my heart. I won't get into details but her actions made me reconsider our entire friendship and evaluate what it is that I need and desire in a friend. As I was doing this I came across great articles and research on the topic of friendship. I thought I would give my two cents on what are some signs you are in a toxic friendship -- and ultimately how I got out.
